Pictures

Not that I really want to post these I might as well.
Did I mention I'm starting at at a whopping 321.4 lbs?

These are two pictures showing what I look like currently.

I'll be updating as I lose weight!

Yes I know, they're crappy mirror pictures but for now that's all I could do.

Easter

I have to start off by saying I am proud of myself for this weekend.
Usually around Easter time (or any holiday for that matter) I make sure to load up on the candy.
I would buy tons of it for myself and sit in my room while the boys were asleep pigging out on it.
But this year I didn't do that! I haven't eaten a piece of candy at all.
My kids have gotten candy from Easter egg hunts and from their grandparents.
They've tried to share it with me and even at times try to shove the candy in my mouth.
But this time..I was determined not to eat any of it.
I honestly thought it'd be a lot harder to stick to my "diet" after seeing that I can do it for a few days makes me more confident that I can do it long term.
It's all about taking small steps (sometimes some huge ones as well)

Usually my family would have a pretty big (and super fatty) Easter dinner. Dad and I would cook it and I'd always bake desert (or multiple deserts).

Not this year!!

-We had sweet potatoes (just baked)

-A small ham with a homemade glaze (not the healthiest choice)

-Fresh green beans (which no one really liked, they taste like dirt)

I made sure to measure out what I was eating so I didn't overeat.

I had a side salad with 2 tbsp lite ranch, 4 oz of ham, and half a sweet potato (about 1 cup) with a small amount of cinnamon and 1/2 a pack of Truvia, and 1/2 tbsp Smart Balance light "butter"


Speaking of my "diet"...

I am supposed to eat two cups of veggies at dinner but I'm having a hard time finding veggies I like.

I can't stand fresh green beans. Canned ones taste better to me. Maybe it's because that's just what I'm used to. BUT! The canned ones have soo much more sodium and I'm trying to stay away from that.

Broccoli is good but, only raw with a bit of lite ranch.

I like carrots I just get tired of eating them everyday.

I guess I need to look up some new veggies.
I guess I really need to look around some more and see what might be good.
I don't want to get tired of the things I'm eating!

I'm going to have to remember to pack my lunch/snacks for tomorrow. I'm taking my two boys and my younger sister to get their pictures taken!
I don't want to get hungry while I'm out and use it as an excuse to get fast food.

I've got to figure out some exercise routine.
Sure being on a "diet" is going to help some...
But I know exercise will help out a lot more!

Slacking off!

Apparently I'm a lot better at writing things out in a notebook than I am with getting online to type it all up.

I've been carrying around a small notepad and jotting down what I eat.

Towards the end of the day I write it all out in detail in another notebook.

I make sure to put how much I ate, what I ate, how many calories it was, how much protein it had, and how much sugar it had.

I was put on a 1400-1500 calories a day "diet" (I know it still sounds like quite a bit right? but compared to what I was eating daily..it's a huge cut back) So far it hasn't been too terrible.

I've actually been around 1090-1220 calories a day.

There still times that I'm a bit hungry but drinking a good amount of water seems to get rid of those feelings.

I found better protein shakes (which are pre-made) Premier Protein (chocolate or vanilla) it pretty awesome.

160 calories, 30g protein, and 1g sugar (with no sugar alcohols)

Day 1

For a good majority of my life I've been  overweight obese 
Who am I kidding..I've been morbidly obese.
I've always been chubby then chubby turned to fat, fat turned to obese.
For the longest time I just brushed it off. Saying to myself I'd lose the weight one day.
I didn't need to eat healthy, health foods are so nasty.
At least that's what I was taught growing up.
I'm not really sure when or why but I started snacking at night, I'd sneak food into my room and just eat and eat, I'd wake up at 2am and find more things to eat. It didn't really matter what it was I ate it.
I'd eat chips, then a bag of candy, maybe some bread and cheese.
I don't think I'll ever really know WHY I did it.
But that's not too important now.
I may have just started on my weight loss journey but I know I'm going to keep it up.
No more snacking all day/night.

I have two boys (3 and 4) who have an insane amount of energy and it has made me feel like a terrible mother that I can't get up and run around with them and play all the crazy games they want to play.
I can't run outside hell I get out of breath walking up the stairs!
They're always wanting to go to the park but I try to avoid going because I know the little one likes to wander and I'm too fat to chase after him.
You know what makes being fat even worse than the dirty looks you get?
It's when your children tell you that you need to get rid of your fat belly.
When they come up to you and say you need to get rid of the fat so they can snuggle with you on the couch.

I finally took the step I needed to start my weight loss journey. I went to see someone for the first time yesterday to discuss what I can do to lose the weight.
I feel good that I have weekly weigh in's.
So someone else is going to be able to see my weight and tell me if I'm doing good or bad.
It's not me just doing it on my own! (So I can't lie to myself)

-I was told to replace breakfast (which I never ate anyway) with a protein shake and somehow I picked one of the nastiest tasting protein powders to make my shake. I'll be on the hunt for a different kind today!