Day 1

For a good majority of my life I've been  overweight obese 
Who am I kidding..I've been morbidly obese.
I've always been chubby then chubby turned to fat, fat turned to obese.
For the longest time I just brushed it off. Saying to myself I'd lose the weight one day.
I didn't need to eat healthy, health foods are so nasty.
At least that's what I was taught growing up.
I'm not really sure when or why but I started snacking at night, I'd sneak food into my room and just eat and eat, I'd wake up at 2am and find more things to eat. It didn't really matter what it was I ate it.
I'd eat chips, then a bag of candy, maybe some bread and cheese.
I don't think I'll ever really know WHY I did it.
But that's not too important now.
I may have just started on my weight loss journey but I know I'm going to keep it up.
No more snacking all day/night.

I have two boys (3 and 4) who have an insane amount of energy and it has made me feel like a terrible mother that I can't get up and run around with them and play all the crazy games they want to play.
I can't run outside hell I get out of breath walking up the stairs!
They're always wanting to go to the park but I try to avoid going because I know the little one likes to wander and I'm too fat to chase after him.
You know what makes being fat even worse than the dirty looks you get?
It's when your children tell you that you need to get rid of your fat belly.
When they come up to you and say you need to get rid of the fat so they can snuggle with you on the couch.

I finally took the step I needed to start my weight loss journey. I went to see someone for the first time yesterday to discuss what I can do to lose the weight.
I feel good that I have weekly weigh in's.
So someone else is going to be able to see my weight and tell me if I'm doing good or bad.
It's not me just doing it on my own! (So I can't lie to myself)
-I was told to replace breakfast (which I never ate anyway) with a protein shake and somehow I picked one of the nastiest tasting protein powders to make my shake. I'll be on the hunt for a different kind today!

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